Precious, Painful

Words
So many words
All those words
that passed between us
Lines
Letters
Whole librettos and liturgies
So precious to me
They capture a time when
In my innocence
I believed in a future for us

All the stages we went through
The excited era of discovery
The avowals of sincerity
The slight slips
The offenses taken
The apologies tearfully tendered
The forgiveness begged
and so blithely given
The subtle threats
The turning away
The breakthroughs:
"I feel we are stronger now"

What did it all amount to?
What could it possibly have meant
if it all fell into silence
Not even an echo lingers on?

Yes, I still have all those words
Those silent, magnificent words
So precious to me, every last one
Silent and meaningless as diamonds in a vault.
Words so painful to me
Icons of what can never be
They must never
ever
be
read again.