2014-08-12

Some one-liners

  1. ... whereas my ancestors on my father's side were jimmy rustlers, outlaws of the worst sort.
  2. ...while the coffee machine pees slowly into my cup
  3. John Douglas Porter graduates Manga cum Laudanum
  4. John Douglas Porter wears the cone of shame.
  5. Who is Dawn, and why do people keep talking about her crack?
  6. John Douglas Porter is an amateur gymnologist.
  7. John Douglas Porter witnesses the somnolizing of the marriage.
  8. John Douglas Porter is not constrained to the brane.
  9. John Douglas Porter goes with the contraveigling wisdom.
  10. John Douglas Porter takes the 9:15 to Lower Barking.
  11. John Douglas Porter is sophomoric beyond his years.
  12. I rubber-band you here on earth; be rubber-banded in heaven!
  13. Do not speak to me of the pulpitudes. The pulpitudes can take a flying leap.
  14. Now, if this basketball is the sun, and this marble is the earth, you're totally high.
  15. You should see my six-pack glutes.
  16. John Douglas Porter is banging on all nine cylinders.
  17. John Douglas Porter has a badly inflected tongue
  18. Rama-lama king-kong
  19. John Douglas Porter - putting the angst in angstrom.
  20. John Douglas Porter - putting the Klaatu in nomenclature.
  21. Sleep, like happiness, is auto-elusive.
  22. Love is miraculin of the mind.
  23. Erzulie Pantokrantor
  24. John Douglas Porter - putting the reneg in renegotiate.
  25. "Every rule has exceptions" is a rule that has exceptions.
  26. feeling very harakirismatic today.
  27. It was a flaccident.
  28. Fairly barking pissed.
  29. Tarmac-n-cheese. My favorite!
  30. Eterna-quette
  31. I am my own worst prophet.
  32. Not suitable for use as a Standard Candle.
  33. The present is the catalysis from potentials to actuals.
  34. Calamities Into Stories (from Aristotleian Semiotics)
  35. I was ever so slightly mortified.
  36. Un grillon d'or rampant
  37. John Douglas Porter watches with fascination the tardigrade motion of the planets.
  38. I wonder if I'm ever in anyone's dream.
  39. I can hear your brain farting.
  40. John Douglas Porter is an inveterate pedestal-putter.
  41. Friends with Retirement Benefits
  42. I guess I'm now permanently weird about it.
  43. Yet another satisfied customer of the First National Bonk.
  44. John Douglas Porter stores his data in the Oort Cloud.
  45. Feeling kinda #278C00 today.
  46. John Douglas Porter takes Highway 1 to Johnsonville.
  47. John Douglas Porter lacks referential integrity.
  48. John Douglas Porter is coupled to the ether.
  49. Pretty sure John Douglas Porter was raised by wolves.
  50. Let's just throw up and start over.
  51. John Douglas Porter hops aboard a tramp steamer bound for Mandalay.
  52. People are gripped by my reprehensible tale.
  53. John Douglas Porter takes a ride on the Tilt-a-Hurl.
  54. John Douglas Porter goes into airplane mode.
  55. John Douglas Porter - putting the laughter in slaughter.
  56. John Douglas Porter finds himself in the paradoxical position of needing to care less, and be more caring.
  57. So, it seems I've got an immovable object. I'll see if I can summon up some irresistible force. ;-)
  58. My problem is that I let setbacks become sadness, and sadness become depression.
  59. I really need to stop exaggerating at every opportunity... Or it's going to get me killed.
  60. I admit that I don't really know anything. I am mostly incompetent. Pretty nearly a fraud, I guess.
  61. the katydids are in high rut tonight. somebody should tell them to knock off all that racket.
  62. They shall beat their swords into plowshares; they shall melt their bullets into radiation containment vessels.
  63. I'm living proof that optimism is essentially a kind of insanity.
  64. My mind feels like a loaf of sourdough rising in a coffee can.
  65. Her response to my holiday greeting, while cheerful, was carefully coded to ensure I not forget what ultimately came between us.
  66. The nine-year-old cabingirl onboard The Beagle refused to assist the old man in the preparation of the manuscript.
  67. Tengo dolor de calabeza.
  68. Origine inconnue
  69. John Douglas Porter has a certain joie de vision
  70. She played me like a banjo.
  71. John Douglas Porter utilizes Bleak Strategies.
  72. I want to send my friend an apology letter... but something about "Repent-o-gram" doesn't sound quite right.
  73. It wasn't awesome until you said it's awesome. Now it's awesome.
  74. John Douglas Porter turns on the re-skeever.
  75. Kowloon mind, Erebus soul.
  76. Every night, it's the same question: Chinee or Chaldee?
  77. John Douglas Porter hangs the mournaments
  78. We'll face unafraid the plasma we made
  79. Girl from Eponyma
  80. And He shall feed on His flocks like a leopard
  81. John Douglas Porter tries to catch up on the logbarkbog of the darkdogbark
  82. Follow the lines to the vanquishing point.
  83. All the makeup and all that bling... Honey, it ain't gonna change a god-damned thing.
  84. John Douglas Porter girds up the battle heffalumps.
  85. Begin self-distract sequence!
  86. The night unfurls before me like a highway
  87. The day spreads out before me like Arlington
  88. John Douglas Porter assumes the Asurasana
  89. Tonight, I declare fraternity with all the sentimental drunks throughout all the ages -- present, past... and future!
  90. Papier machete
  91. através, otravez
  92. ... for thereby some have entertained angels' underwears
  93. Teheran-o-saurus rex
  94. I can hear the old Key-tars playing on the beach at Honaunau
  95. Draw your own illusions.
  96. made a faux pas last night: I wore my white swan to a black swan event.
  97. ...et tibi Redditur votum in Hierusalem
  98. Gall-dang-it! Chia flavored? I thought it said chai flavored!
  99. Dammit, google! I said Marie Curie, not Mariah Carey!
  100. I'm ... gettin' up, so you better get the coffee started
  101. Niebelung to the light, Niebelung to the tundra
  102. Cutting off my nose to spite your face
  103. Les douleurs des heures heureux...
  104. roflllllleeuwentijn!
  105. I just found out the name of your dentist; You been lying through your teeth again
  106. John Douglas Porter is cast into the Gorge of Eternal #Perl.
  107. Pu-erh is Hunan...
  108. John Douglas Porter enjoys crispy pupitas with a rich tamarin sauce.
  109. ...et libera nos a malodorum
  110. A lovely stew of snowshoe crab and horseshoe hare
  111. Damn it to the limit!
  112. The heartbreak of houttuynia
  113. John Douglas Porter goes back to the well for the inspiration behind his new line of artesian cheeses.
  114. Why should I answer the telephone? It never answers me!
  115. Seductio ad absurdum
  116. John Douglas Porter discit de avibus et apibus
  117. John Douglas Porter is a hopsquatch champion
  118. Hollywood -- quo cuncta undique atrocia aut pudenda confluunt celebranturque.
  119. John Douglas Porter slips away under cover of clover.
  120. So I'll see you week midwochenensday.
  121. Every day is like a weird hybrid of the drudgery of Wednesday, and the emptiness of Saturday. A... Satnesday.
  122. Putting the apotheque in the zapotec.
  123. I speak of the palpatines of love
  124. Wie bébé ist fourmi? Wie dame tombler encuente?
  125. She Smells Estuary
  126. For star dust thou art; and unto star dust shalt thou return.
  127. John Douglas Porter feels the need to restore the balance in his aquarius humor and his vitriolic humor.
  128. Then shall sound the tumultimate chord
  129. John Douglas Porter cleans up on Isle 3.
  130. Thank you, Toblerone bar, For having bits of actual Matterhorn in every chocolatey chunk.
  131. John Douglas Porter floats down-scream
  132. Cat as Trophy
  133. Things could go horribly right...
  134. Willkommen in Krankreich
  135. John Douglas Porter grazes long into the abbess...
  136. Jonathan Richman was totally wrong about Pablo Picasso.
  137. We'll take the back roads and blue highways from Bleak to Dire.
  138. John Douglas Porter is nothing if not onionated and unspoken.
  139. John Douglas Porter is equinocturnal
  140. Let's wring out the old year together.
  141. John Douglas Porter moves a freight of phosphorus through the strait of Bosporus.
  142. You know, being an asp-viper is not nearly as uncool as it sounds.
  143. John Douglas Porter savors a tub of Flav-o-Rub
  144. John Douglas Porter has always depended on the strangeness of kinder.
  145. Alswang that Enswang
  146. John Douglas Porter heeds the galling.
  147. I enjoy people-watching at the shopping mall -- that turbid miasma of human sediment.
  148. Scheizophrenia :-(
  149. John Douglas Porter plans to be thrown clear.
  150. I try to make everybody's hay a little more cereal.
  151. To have all these things in core memory stored...
  152. Toxonomy is more geneal than oncology.
  153. You gotta walk before you can crawl.
  154. Two is company, three is a crowd.... four is an oven.
  155. What today is it?
  156. my life - a picture in durian gray.
  157. My Thutmose for His Thaïs
  158. John Douglas Porter gets involved in a land war in Asia
  159. John Douglas Porter goes onto Google+ to exercise his demons.
  160. Britons never, never, never shall be Slavs!
  161. Gone to Croatia
  162. Cooties to you on your outstanding achievement!
  163. No -- they're just skeebers; they're not able skeebers!
  164. U rang a tone
  165. She's a head haunter.
  166. You have until tomorrow to become a diamond. But hey -- no pressure.
  167. That's a tomorrow for another day.
  168. Remember you're dreams.
  169. Sweetbreads are neither.
  170. The Return to Stalagmite 13 is based on the life of John Douglas Porter
  171. John Douglas Porter suffers a stroke of midnight
  172. John Douglas Porter brews himself a nice big mug o' chamomilatonin.
  173. John Douglas Porter hears the ululululation of the belles, belles, belles, belles, belles, belles, belles
  174. 2013 was my 1929.
  175. John Douglas Porter pumps the "sod off" shotgun
  176. John Douglas Porter reigns for 14 sars and 3 ners.
  177. To put things in perspective ... The visible universe has a volume of only about half a million yotta-yotta-yotta-litres.
  178. John Douglas Porter begins work on his magnum opus -- his Dissociative Fugue in G minor
  179. John Douglas Porter obeys L'Hôpital's Rule
  180. John Douglas Porter ate a million donuts in a ouroborostrophedonic haze
  181. It appears we are a Pangaeatic Cancer.
  182. John Douglas Porter will a stately pleasure-dome decree, of clay and wattles made.
  183. John Douglas Porter follows the Queen of Marksbury Rules.
  184. John Douglas Porter feels about as disorganized as an Egyptian mummy.
  185. John Douglas Porter yokos the band.
  186. John Douglas Porter brandishes the bat'leth-arang... -chuk.
  187. Other places make your car look clean; we get your car really clean! Auto-Clave!
  188. John Douglas Porter's walls are built of melonballs.
  189. John Douglas Porter has a variable ennuity.
  190. John Douglas Porter self-mendicates
  191. John Douglas Porter drives the Jalousie Jalopy
  192. She played me like a matryoshka theremin.
  193. John Douglas Porter undergoes a sudden zombifurcation.
  194. The eleventh thing I didn't own was the eleventh thing I couldn't hide.
  195. Does anybody else here like lapstank douchebong tea?
  196. John Douglas Porter eschews his food 31 times
  197. John Douglas Porter is disturbed by the feeling of a phantom lamb
  198. John Douglas Porter gives himself a pat of butter on the back
  199. John Douglas Porter still has the first dollar he ever spent.
  200. John Douglas Porter keeps it on the download
  201. John Douglas Porter does his civic doody.
  202. Nihil Obstet
  203. All of John Douglas Porter's friends are in the Zone of Avoidance.
  204. Power to the peephole!
  205. John Douglas Porter gets red-carded in lawn darts.
  206. John Douglas Porter has gone into rewission
  207. J'adore fromage avec pain, And music is my aeroplane...
  208. John Douglas Porter's humor goes right under their heads.
  209. John Douglas Porter makes a lava lamp out of actual lava.
  210. I know papayas are a pretty amazing fruit... but I still don't get how the Egyptians could have made paper out of it.
  211. This golf course is extremely challenging... a true bogey wonderland.
  212. I'm pretty mechanically minded, but how these old-fashioned clocks work escapes me.
  213. St!nk
  214. If I didn't know better, I would have said the name of the Wicked Witch of the West was Ding-Dong.
  215. Things look bright under the bonky moon.
  216. Back in college, John Douglas Porter briefly dated a girl they called "12 Stone" Jordan.
  217. OK, I promise to keep in torch.
  218. Hanging in the chilling area of the local Hair Choppery, John Douglas Porter consults The Book of Brilliantine Things.
  219. You should be really careful not to misspell collabortion.
  220. Once more unto the breeches, dear friends!
  221. John Douglas Porter has a date with Carmen von Ochsheid.
  222. The heart is a one stroke engine.
  223. Just as correlation does not imply causation, simultaneity does not imply correlation.
  224. John Douglas Porter subscribes to the panspermacetia theory of the origin of life on Earth.
  225. Looking forward to the turkey trots this year.
  226. John Douglas Porter plots a daring night-time raid on the pie safe.
  227. ... And that was the draught of egg nog which proved to be John Douglas Porter's undoing.
  228. John Douglas Porter puts the loco in loco parentis
  229. John Douglas Porter is rocking one roly-poly hurdy-gurdy.
  230. John Douglas Porter hies himself to the rhubarbery
  231. Of course I believe in equality; horses are graceful, noble creatures.
  232. The three words that best describe John Douglas Porter are as follows, and I quote: bone; Crohn; drone.
  233. John Douglas Porter is afraid the Quonset of Alzheimer's is right around the corner
  234. [It] must be the seasoning of the witch!
  235. denurtured alcoholic
  236. One of my favorite things about the holiday season is the Negativity Scenes (sometimes called Crashes).
  237. Do you ever feel like a third cousin twice removed? I sure do.
  238. I've got terrible vertigo in my left shoulder.
  239. I'm going to have to break out a tube of Provocation H.
  240. John Douglas Porter is a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.
  241. John Douglas Porter is a bear of very little news.
  242. They say they got dengue fever in Denver, but I feel certain it was the other way 'round.
  243. Though I here, I'm really not a where.
  244. En el internet nadie sabe que eres un pierno. My drunkenness is a mask to hide my facile sobreity, qui est un facade sobre mi saudade, mi libido illucido, mi innocencia senescente.
  245. John Douglas Porter puts the TNT in AT&T.
  246. Ugh. Them chicken wangs was so dang hot, I feel like a freakin' balrog.
  247. There's a time/space tradeoff in the space-time continuum.
  248. Pro tip: If your attempt to "honor" Black History Month doesn't completely piss off your white-nationalist base, then you're doing it wrong.
  249. Spem in Allium
  250. In Trump's case, they should probably be called Executive Ordures.
  251. I thought it was a majestic sea flap-flap... But it was just you.
  252. There! Now that that's all sordid...
  253. John Douglas Porter switches to clean supernatural gas.
  254. John Douglas Porter always clothes himself in the finest synaesthetic materials.
  255. John Douglas Porter sometimes posts unanimously.
  256. John Douglas Porter is deluded to half his original strength.
  257. John Douglas Porter -- putting the interr in interrogate.
  258. But you never read me my Carmen Miranda rights!
  259. Subluxated Lands
  260. People come out of a crowd at a pop concert to go to the loo through a process of tunneling just like how a radioactively unstable nucleus emits neutrons.
  261. John Douglas Porter is an ironoclast.
  262. Wingardium leviosa, honey... Don't you know that I love you...
  263. It can be hard to discern between John Douglas Porter and Creepy Combover John Douglas Porter.
  264. John Douglas Porter casts his vote in absinthia
  265. Prisons are basically monasteries of evil.
  266. John Douglas Porter was a very precautious child.
  267. John Douglas Porter keeps his precisors sharp.
  268. John Douglas Porter makes a concerted effort.
  269. Terminator 2 has ruined me for beautiful sunny days at the park.
  270. You are my dentistry
  271. Meet the twins eye-tentacle.
  272. Pole vaulteth not itself — I Oly 13:4
  273. This is the sound of me screaming at the stars
  274. You and I saw John Douglas Porter swerve in his path, take a course impossible to explain by natural physical laws
  275. You won't find me in your Book of Hoo-hoos
  276. The Commode Dragons #bandnames
  277. John Douglas Porter isn't even worth repairing. Send in Z-X3!
  278. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angrydome.
  279. John Douglas Porter is made out of palm leaves, has been washed in margaritas, and contains actual pieces of coconut.
  280. John Douglas Porter engages in a pagan futility rite.
  281. There are twelve trillion tricycles in Berlin. That's a fact. No one can ever say it's true.
  282. John Douglas Porter is a massive-regressive panic-oppressive
  283. John Douglas Porter hits the gaga wall with the lava ball.
  284. John Douglas Porter ran through taverns pleasureless to man
  285. I think the night has seen my mind, that inside I'm twisted and unkind
  286. John Douglas Porter drops a High-German bomb
  287. I'll gladly trade some fire water for some earth air.
  288. John Douglas Porter. Was. Hanging. Out. To. Dry.
  289. Gojira jaya jaya / Kabbalah jaya jaya
  290. John Douglas Porter will be trying out Bevo, trying out Cubebs...
  291. Unearned Tremaynes
  292. This is the ordnance which John Douglas Porter ordeigned as Frith-'bot for the whole nation at Woodstock...
  293. John Douglas Porter prefers his sparkling wine made by the méthode chamoise
  294. John Douglas Porter was so gallantly screaming
  295. Windchill whoppers turpentine...
  296. I'm tired of your worn-out platypudes
  297. I am authorized to say that the action we are now reporting may well bring John Douglas Porter within measurable distance of his end.
  298. Just like David Lynch movies, John Douglas Porter's weirdness level has been monotonously increasing.
  299. You know what can make your feet feel nice in warm weather? Open-toad shoes.
  300. John Douglas Porter robs Peter to pay the piper.
  301. Here comes the crackpot question in advance...
  302. John Douglas Porter puts the gui in guillotine.
  303. John Douglas Porter schedules an autopsychopsy for a week from Tuesday.
  304. John Douglas Porter plays second double-barrelled euphorium in Sergeant Billy's Lonely Whiz Bang Band.
  305. I love lightning and thunder / The thrill of feeling like the world is about to end / And the subsequent disappointment
  306. The enemy of the enemy of the enemy of the enemy of my enemy is my.... Wait... Um...
  307. John Douglas Porter is not ashamed to use his fingers when eating wantons.
  308. John Douglas Porter has yet to read the opening book.
  309. Not that I ever succeeded in "leaving them laughing when I went"...
  310. I lost two emms on the ell.
  311. Shooting stars will commence at sundown. If my demands are not met.
  312. John Douglas Porter es un borracho barato.
  313. It wasn't Hawkwind until I said it's Hawkwind; now it's Hawkwind.
  314. our undoing is our own doing.
  315. You all are a test, which I have failed. And I am a test, which you all have failed.
  316. That which frees her won't freeze her.
  317. We are not in the path of totality.
  318. And my spaceship thinks I know which way to go
  319. The future is all but past.
  320. Yo soy un hombre insincero
  321. John Douglas Porter leads a subbourbon lifestyle
  322. John Douglas Porter is caught in a love dodecahedron. (And before anyone asks: Yes, it's a regular, Pythagorean dodecahedron, not a rhombic dodecahedron. Because that would just be weird.)
  323. Then I flew my Lear jet to Chattanooga
  324. John Douglas Porter eats a majorino cherry
  325. John Douglas Porter goes to the bikeshed to eat dogfood
  326. I will grieve you.
  327. bonefire of the valkyries, or something
  328. You can't have a heart without an ache. (At least in English, and most other Germanic languages.)
  329. Estou no coração do céu.
  330. Agh burzum ishi creampietool!
  331. I apologize. I gaslighted myself.
  332. I'm just a round in search of a revolver.
  333. Even a stopped calendar is right twice a year.
  334. The oort cloud drive is starting to squeak. I think it may be time to change the van allen belts.
  335. They're lying. Tuna cannot melt. Don't ask me how I learned this.
  336. John Douglas Porter commits the unforgettable sin.
  337. If baseball has taught me anything, it's that you can't assume you'll be safe at home.
  338. Please stop calling me "baby" while we're having sex. It's creeping me out.
  339. John Douglas Porter is too stool for school.
  340. He would grab some grapes and fling them, two at a time, down the length of the dining hall, yelling "flight of the concords!"
  341. John Douglas Porter has a case of the Ganges on his left leg.
  342. searching for an alternative eternity
  343. John Douglas Porter puts the consommé in the consummation.
  344. Come along, you god-damned moon; finish the f'ing job.
  345. it's a beautiful night... crisp breeze rustling the trees, nice fire crackling... a perfect moment for stepping off this miserable rock.
  346. Well, OK, but... Kitchen Tyakitori doesn't sound Italian to me.
  347. So many plans, so little plutonium.
  348. It's not like I've hidden my molotovs under a matryoshka.
  349. John Douglas Porter puts the lasvegas in the glaswegas
  350. kutta kolta kauta
  351. Who says I can't be both a bushman and a hottentot?
  352. Am I the only one who sees lol and thinks: GOAL!!!
  353. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Of chainmail.
  354. Here is my stream of cosmic subconsiousness.
  355. I am overcome by waves of gravity, as neuron stars collide in my head.
  356. Yo soy un hombre secreto, no digo nada de mi alma.
  357. I shouldn't have eaten that sixth pizza.
  358. dein ist mein schwarzes Herz
  359. I seem to have caught morgellons from someone at work. I notice it's been going around.
  360. John Douglas Porter is a jalapeno pauper.
  361. Homo incompletus est, cuius rei demonstrationem mirabilem sane detexi. Hanc carpis exiguitas non caperet.
  362. Because it's only by extreme force of will that I'm able to be as miserably good as I am.
  363. John Douglas Porter has cabal internet at home.
  364. And bleating his last, he gave up the goats.
  365. In the lustful innocence of our youth, we believed we could have anything we wanted if we worked hard enough for it.
  366. I have a massive crutch on you.
  367. Saturday morning -- good time for a little self-disabuse.
  368. The mind is an amazing place. To visit, I mean. I wouldn't want to live there.
  369. humuhumunukunukuapua'a in my wine make me happy, make me feel fine
  370. Tui Lumi Nasel ca Mino
  371. John Douglas Porter is calling occupants of interplanetary crap.
  372. Tense silver sexes, abased with a beau
  373. JOHN P.: That's not too much to ask! NARRATOR: But it was too much to ask.
  374. j'ai garou de vas...
  375. I hate being bipolar. It's awesome.
  376. good night! sweet dreams! as I rick-roll you to sleep...
  377. John Douglas Porter finds the trophy in atrophy.
  378. You damn straight, it's fresh! I collected the civet scat this morning!
  379. currant: müde
  380. John Douglas Porter sets the controls for the heart of the sunrise.
  381. counting cigarettes and smoking Captain Kangaroo
  382. On the ansible came the note: XE-XE FLY NO ANTIDOTE
  383. John Douglas Porter is just a precog in the gearworks.
  384. John Douglas Porter , with his corn cob hat and his stove pipe pipe...
  385. John Douglas Porter's new album, underneath the neanderthal, drops next Sursdai.
  386. J is for John-Lee, who died of ennui
  387. (Human shown for scale)
  388. We are like Nineveh. Let's be like Nineveh.
  389. Social networking is as easy as riding a bike. Except that bike is on fire. And you're on fire. And everything is on fire. And you're in hell.
  390. Thank you for your sweet and gentle lovingblindness.
  391. The call of nurture is read in truth and law
  392. John Douglas Porter is composed chiefly of ichor and ectoplasm.
  393. You are truly nastilicious.
  394. Taking a "mental health day" for depression would be like taking a "physical health day" for hepatitis.
  395. John Douglas Porter is out on his own reconnaissance.
  396. TIL: No, you may not bring a can of gasoline on the bus.
  397. Safety, Thy Name Is Danger
  398. We shall penetrate into the livingroom of impervious Nature herself!
  399. All of my exes live in South Orange, New Jersey.
  400. Now we're cooking with wood! :-D
  401. dance with them what fuchsia
  402. John Douglas Porter is possumsouse
  403. I always strive to provide quality irritainment.
  404. Be fremdly unto me.
  405. I just invented a dozen deities, just so that I could take their names in vain.
  406. Is misery and sadness the price I have to pay for the bliss we enjoyed yesterday?
  407. I'm in the 666th permillile of men.
  408. Modern phthnrhaeumaturgy is insanely complicated.
  409. That's two strikes in your favor.
  410. Algún día haré un grán éxito.
  411. John Douglas Porter puts the shiv in chivalry.
  412. I wish I could face unafraid the plans that I made...
  413. Apparently, "NASA Scientist" is actually Florida Man.
  414. more like a Social Justice Worrier
  415. John Douglas Porter is the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade.
  416. I want to know more about this spacecraft we're sending to land on Ultimate Cthulhu.
  417. Mommy, do we have any cough tarts?
  418. I know I'm a rich white American male, the most privileged class in the world; and when the revolution comes, I hope I'll be the first up against the wall.
  419. Is this a rhetorical question?
  420. 20/20 hindsight is a b*tch.
  421. I worked so hard to become a maniacal engineer.
  422. What is the "say something; I'm giving up on you" emoji?
  423. John Douglas Porter, working for a quarter, trying to get a fish on a line...
  424. If I learned anything at all as a child, it's that you should always skip the first two and go straight for the third bowl of porridge.
  425. Obviously a "cubit" was the length of a standard cucumber. Duh.
  426. She went to town... and then she brought it on home.
  427. Enter vilification code:

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