Starlight

(very much a work in progress) 

Hesitatingly, he moved closer, his right cheek 4, 3, 2 millimeters from hers... In that space he felt the heat of the compressed air -- quanta of energy leaping the gap between his skin and hers. And suddenly he became intensely aware of a scent -- something woody, yet sublime; otherwordly, yet somehow almost familar. He drew back to meet her gaze. She understood the question in his face, for she answered it: She made a 'W' of three fingers, and drew them down along her throat. "This," she said, "is sandalwood. And this," she said, drawing them across the same area, "is palo santo." And in that moment, he knew she was truly unique among women, a goddess - Athena and Aphrodite and all the muses in one incomprehensible cosmic incarnation. And he understood that he, to be in a room alone with her, and to be the object of her intent, was the most blessed of men. And he saw that his soul, and his life, were forever altered.

she said, "I love smelling my morning espresso on your junk."
she said, "I want to be the heroin in your story."

she took his alarm clock and turned it face down.
she said, "I want you to drive me over the mountains; there's a safe place on the other side where you can leave me."
he smiled as he reached across her to switch off the lamp. that was what he found most charming about her: her penchant for speaking in beatnik prose. 

she said, "you can rip all the written pages out of my book."

"I drove all night to be close to you," she sang at a whisper into his ear. "Now I'm going to need you to drive all night." "I'll do my best," he thought.

she said, "I brought you my special spiced latte."
he thought, "Steamed milk? Yeah, I could lick the froth off that."

he wanted to ask her name. "Starlite," he said out loud. "Huh?" she said. It was the loveliest thing he could think of.
"Starlite": a motel at the edge of paradise - a glowing pink googie sign out front, a shimmering sapphire pool out back...
A place he had stayed with his mother that one time on their way to Disneyland.

As he gently pulled her cowboy boots off, he realized that he had seen her at the coffeeshop for six weeks and hadn’t known until this moment what kind of footwear she wore.

he lay on the bed in the tangled sheets, his glistening skin gilded by the rising sun… He felt the motion of the mattress as she sat down on the edge, and in that, he felt a thrill of the presence tangible... to feel her body's gravity transmitted through the carnal ether of the mattress and sheets…

he looked at the ring on her finger - beautifully wrought silver setting, shaped like half of a sea turtle, with an oval opal and a fragment of turquoise. She said “I made this myself. I found the turquoise in the desert. My brother brought the opal from Australia. He was wearing its mate when he died.” "Oh... I'm so sorry," he said. "How...?" "He was helping deliver aid in Gaza." 

the words still echoed in his ears, like a sacring bell in a cavernous cathedral: "I love you, yes. But I love all mankind, and I must go and help."
each word felt like another blow of the mallet driving a holly stake deeper into his heart. they burned a hole in the bottom of his soul, and he felt his life draining out.

He grimaced as he gripped the wheel and drove on, a futile refugee from his wounding memories, flying up the I-10, toward the breaking dawn, and the dry blue desert which was to be a symbol of his future. And as the sun broke over the grey horizon, it transmuted his brimming tears into gold.

Starlight. You can't see it until you get out of your box, get out of the bowl, get out of the hazy cloud, cross over the mountains, enter the desert, turn your back to the earth.

He pulled into a tiny mining town called Plomosa just as the mesquite smoke from its many chimineas began to invert, purplishly, over the pueblo houses...

On the weathered sign at the leading edge of the town, someone had spraypainted a 'U' over the first 'O'. Plumosa? That's a hell of a transmutation, he reflected.

The setting sun shone purpleishly on the tops of these mineral mountains, making them luminous like monstrous amethysts. 

He slowed the car to a crawl as he approached the first buildings -- a collection of RVs and mobile homes.  A few people, walking in the same direction, saw him and waved, smiling.  "What's going on here?" he thought.  Strings of christmas lights and chinese lanterns began to glow. Through the car window he caught whiffs of mesquite smoke, its rustic incense perfuming the evening air. There, off to the right, he saw people gathering... some sitting on lawn chairs, some sitting at small tables under makeshift awnings... he saw a woman doing some sort of expressive dance, barefoot on a persian rug. He caught the strains of music - gutars, tablas, a flute...

An attractive middle-aged woman in a kaftan approached his window. "Howdy, Stranger!" she cried, shoving a cold Corona into his hand. "Welcome!  You are among friends here."

He noticed the red silk butterflies in her long, tangled, sun-bleached hair, and several chains of silver and turquoise beads draped around her tanned neck... 

She led him by the hand toward the larger group. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet our new friend....... Lazuli!"  Immediately everyone smiled and nodded, a few said "howdy."  One man pulled the foil back on the top of a disposable brazing pan, pulled out a stick with something roasted on it, and handed it to him. "Rattlesnake," he said. "It's delicious."

"I'm sorry! I'm so rude," the woman blushed. "I am Rodocrosita," she said, placing her hand on her heart. "And this is Beryl, and Jade, and Gil.  That's short for Gila monster, don't ya know."

"Wanna know my secret ingredient?" Gil said. "Sage.  Not on it.  In in the smoke."

Someone just out of view began playing an accordian ... notes so soft and sweet, it took him completely by surprise.  Several people laughed and jumped up, prancing out into the sand, around the fire.  They did tangos and waltzes, not really caring whether they were in sync with the music.  He watched the sparks rise up into the night sky, and he suddenly became aware of the panoply of stars, the milky way blazing brightly from one horizon to the other... and he felt his heart burst into a bazillion pieces.

And then the sky reminded him of Starlite.  He hadn't thought about her in... how long? Hours? Years? 

And then he knew, and his heart took comfort, that she was no longer necessary. A beautiful, singular memory, yes, to be cherished, but not the end of all desire.

between them stood a menora fashioned from saguaro bones, several candles dripping wax onto the table. 

The green-haired girl called Jade lept up and headed toward the dancing circle. She spun around and, continuing to walk backwards, motioned to him with a sly grin. "Who, me?" he wanted to say, but not wanting to seem like a dork, he quickly followed her. She was dancing barefoot in the desert sand. He kicked off his docksiders.

in the morning, he was awakened by the loud clanging of metal on metal. Wincing in the sunlight, he smelled the delicious aroma of bacon from somewhere. He looked out from the backseat of his car, and saw the legs of a large man protruding from under a car which was up on jacks. that was the source of the clamor. The man crawled out from under and said, "top of the morning to you, lazuli! sleep OK? No scorpions?" he chuckled. "what are you doing?" the question was supposed to be about why he was making so much noise so early in the morning, but he answered it plainly: "Daisy's got a problem with her rotator cuff. Just trying to shake it loose. that’s what we do around here: help each other out."

"I'm Demon," the man said. "Name's actually Damon, but people call me Demon. That's my rig over there. What can you do, Lazuli?" He thought for a second, and realized that he had no fungible skills. "I can brew up a wicked website. Don’t suppose you have much need of that around here..."

"Naw. Well, you can help me figure out why my iPhone won’t connect." he chuckled again.

"So... Rodocrosita: is she, like, 'Mom' around here?" "Yeah. Well, not really. There is no 'mom'. She's just one of the more extroverted people. She's a sister. I'm your brother. See?"

he racked his brain: was there anything else he could do? any unique skills he could bring to the mix? "I can make cocktails. I build dozens of tiki drinks with my eyes closed..." "Hey, that's cool, man. tonight, why don't you hit me with your best shot."

as he lay there, watching the satellites swarm, he wondered: why had Rodocrosita christened him Lazuli? could she tell he was blue? Maybe it was meant to be a reference to Lazarus? he turned the word over in his head. Lazuli. Erzulie. This rhyme had never occurred to him before. Erzulie: the Divine Mother figure in some African theologies. Lapis lazuli. L'epice l'Erzulie. "Erzulie's spice"... perhaps a mix of sandalwood and palo santo? he realized that Starlite was the Erzulie in his cosmogony.

as he slid down in someone's macrame chair, he loosened his gaze to the wide scene. the multihued sky, the warm breeze, and the whirl of the fire-dancers transported him back to Hawaii and the beach at Waikiki. he had fallen in love with that place, and the dream of a simple life where everyone lived in tune with beautiful Mother Earth and in openheartedness with each other. he had never found that idyll. he wondered if these people here - sunburnt, ragtag, broken yet healing - might be closer to the dream that anything else he had ever found.

"Zul." a voice startled him out of his reverie. "Do you want to read that poem you’ve been working on?" what? He hadn’t said anything about a poem. "what poem?" "I don’t know; you look like you’ve been working on a poem."

the scent of frankincense from some unseen censer wafted past

Once a month, on the new moon, the men go out, away from the camp, and hold a fire ceremony. the women do something similar, on the full moon.

 

 

 

 

fever dream

bye bye, blackbird
have you any well

if I wanted to talk, I'd talk
if I wanted to sing, I'd sing
if I wanted to walk, I'd take a walk
if I wanted to sleep, I'd take a drug

and as I sleeped I dreamed of
honey in the jar
flowers between paper
Rebecca and the Well
a tansy tonic
intinctured saltines

sirens sing in the silence
calling me to calamity
lulling, culling
lulling, culling

someone sent standing waves of sand

to smash on the side of a placid sea

and divide the proprietal from the accipital

I can fear the sound of the underground trains
it heals like distant thunder

slift across seven centuries of dream

a futon afloat on the ocean
awash in the steaming brine
tossing about on a sunless sea
a sheet wound around me
like a story too long to tell

I hear bees drip honey straight into the jar
I have syrup for my bun, courtesy Mr Sun

you call to sleep, but sleep don't come
and when sleep come, it come like a freight train
heavy fraught with every little goddamned thing

you stand at the bottom of a vacant dry-dock
while sky-hooks maneuver great steel beams
into place above you

the sound of a klagson clanging in the hullen half of my head
the smell of something burning in the sullen side of my sinus
all of my joints joined together in rowdy rebellion against any possibility of comfort
cold wet rags burst into flames when they touch me
as if they're soaked in butane
and I am a glow plug

yessir, yessir
dream times cull 

Palms

As we lay in the shade by the whispering sea

We gazed at each other with puka shell eyes

Held each other in arms of maile

Kissed each other with plumeria skin

Loved each other with hearts of palm

Slonombifer

The inhabitants of Slonombifer go about their lives in a perpetual state of sleepfulness, never laughing, never dancing, never mourning.

When you visit Slonombifer, do not tell your story, for the discharge of your burden will dispose you to its lap of repose.

Some who read this will say: "Ah! My hometown. I have vague memories of grey skies and gauzy twilights."
Some will say: "I detest the place, for the water tastes like death."

Sapezabezit

Do you know Sapezabezit?

It has only two gates -- one east, one west. When you approach the east gate, you will be greeted by two children: a boy wearing red, and a girl in blue. The boy will smile, and the girl will wave.

Inside the city, you will find sellers of bread on the left, and traders of silk on the right.

The women do not speak, and the men do not dream.

This city was famous for its resident, the Mage of Sapezabezit, who was the first person ever to hypothesize that our language shapes our dreams. He would interview the merchants who passed through his city -- people from across the known world, from Mongolia to Gaul -- and ask them about their dreams. He found that, as a broad pattern, Greek speakers dreamed one way, Chinese speakers another, Ethiopic speakers yet another, and so on.

The Greeks interpreted the name thusly: sape = knowing; zabe = intuiting; zit = divided.

The Mongols say that the name refers to the city's iconic dish: a leaf of bread beside exactly two grilled cutlets of lamb.

When you leave Sapezabezit at the west gate, a boy will give you water, and a girl will give you a polished blue stone.

People will not believe you when you tell them about Sapezabezit, but you will dream about that city forever.

Death Notice

I regret to inform you that your son, John Porter, was killed whilst on active service. Reports indicate that he acted with marked gallantry in the execution of his duty, and fell in the endeavour to secure the safety of his comrades. 

Malgorzata

The table of contents of Miss Malgorzata Maudeline Odile de Laudela Requests Your Presence

Originally published as a serial in The Sketch 1910-1912.

1. In Which Malgorzata Enlists the Confidence of Murgatroyd
2. Principally for his expertise with the dumbwaiter
3. In Which Malgorzata Reproduces Dr. Michelson’s Experiment
   And discovers a curious flaw
4. In Which the Conservatory Proves Unsuitable for Reflection
   Owing to certain botanical exaggerations
5. In Which Malgorzata Devises a Way to Measure the Height of the Topiaries Using a Celesta
   Much to Mrs. Beckley’s consternation
6. In Which the Omnibus Brings an Unfamiliar Guest
   But the monogram on his valise calls an unpleasant incident to mind
7. In Which Malgorzata Invites Miss Berenice Brisemont to Tea
   And several bottles of india ink go missing from the Lord de Laudela's desk
8. In Which Malgorzata Decrypts the Engraving Inside the Ancestral Tomb
   With disturbing implications for the family tree
9. In Which Malgorzata Helps Henry With the Sheep Milking
   And attempts to make yoghurt, with ambivalent results 
10. In Which Malgorzata Arranges the Library According to a Novel System
    And discovers several books intentionally misfiled 
11. In Which Sir Hubert Returns from Overseas Unexpectedly
    And the girls set an ambush in the butler's pantry
12. In Which Sir Alaric’s Favorite Fowlingpiece Goes Missing
    And Henry’s ingenuity is thereby challenged
13. In Which Old Dog Trey Investigates a New Scent Near the Kitchen Hearth
    And discovers something the importance of which will become apparent later
14. In Which Malgorzata Tests the Limits of the Dumbwaiter
    And resolves to provision more lamp oil on future plumbs
15. In Which Mrs. Beckley Discovers the Ink-Stained Linens
    And Malgorzata explicates the utility of onion juice
16. In Which the Ferrer-Dumonts Come for Sunday Tea
    And Malgorzata trades places with Trey until pudding
17. In Which a Parcel Arrives from London Containing a Book by Cousin Yorick
    And Malgorzata refuses to read it because of the font
18. In Which Malgorzata is confined with the Grippe
    And Dr. Bonifacio reassures her that it is not the plague   
19. In Which Malgorzata Decides That Miss Shahrazad Has Outgrown Her Wardrobe
    And takes measurements for a new outfit
    
    (Illustration: Malgorzata holding a doll arrayed as a Persian princess. In her other hand is a carpenter's square.)
20. In Which Malgorzata, Using the Brandy Test, Proves That Mother’s Paste Is Really Diamond
    And Mrs. Beckley remains mum
    
    (Illustration: Malgorzata holding an enormous, elaborate piece of jewelry over a chemist's alcohol burner)
21. In Which Malgorzata Investigates Unusual Creakings from the North Attic
    And Sir Alaric’s fowlingpiece is found, still smoking
22. In Which Malgorzata Measures the Echo of the Grand Stairwell
    And discovers several unexpected intervals 
23. In Which Sir Hubert Shows Malgorzata His Webley-Vickers
    And she expounds upon its inferiority to the Colt design
24. In Which Sister Chastaine Pays a Visit
    And Malgorzata practices her Marcus Aurelius
25. In Which Malgorzata Discovers a Lodestone in the Lower Garden
    And immediately uses it to correct the armillary sphere
26. In Which Malgorzata Carries the Weather Glass Throughout the House
    And detects a discrepancy in the library
27. In which Shahrazad goes missing from her locked chest
    And Trey shows up wearing a strange collar
28. In which a blackbird makes entrance at the clerestory
    despite the entreaties of the domestic staff
29. In which the Deacon from Saint Gilles drops in for an audience
    and Malgorzata makes good use of a transom
30. In which the Lady de Laudela requires Malgorzata’s presence in the foyer
    Necessitating a stealthy retreat to the columbarium
31. In which Malgorzata shows up at the kitchen door with an apron full of quinces
    and confesses to having poached them from the Brisemonts
32. In which Malgorzata persuades Annabeth to make a strawberry-rose aspic
    using arguments against which Annabeth has not prepared a defense
33. In which Henry discovers the ladder below the clerestory window
    And Murgatroyd asks Malgorzata some uncomfortable questions
34. In which Malgorzata solves the laundry mystery once and for all
    To no one’s satisfaction—including her own
35. In which Mother takes the girls into town for tea
    And lessons are learnt about the frailties of machinery
36. In which James earns his keep
    And Malgorzata attempts to send Miss Berenice a message by semaphore
37. In which Malgorzata collects samples from the kitchen flue
    And the séance does not go according to plan
38. In which Malgorzata officiates at the wedding of Shahrazad and a dove borrowed from the columbarium 
    And the honeymoon transgresses several rules of decorum
39. In which Malgorzata follows a red string to a locked door in the study
    Meanwhile, Murgatroyd requires forceps to remove a length of string from Trey’s gullet
40. In which Malgorzata borrows Sir Hubert's transit
    But her project of surveying the entire attic encounters some obstacles
41. In which a packet of violet pastilles goes missing
    And Trey is summoned to testify
42. In which Genia finds herself short one tub in the scullery
    And Malgorzata makes progress charting the coastlines of the stream nearby
    
    (Illustration: Malgorzata floating on a stream in a large tub, notebook in one hand, sextant in the other)
43. In which Malgorzata repurposes a span of Mother’s old taffeta for a hot air balloon
    And commissions a mouse - Leftenant Charles Limburger - for a reconnaissance mission over the Brisemonts'
44. In which Malgorzata takes a glass to Father’s large atlas of the South Pacific
    And notes one island misspelled
45. In which Malgorzata attempts to persuade James to create for her a font
    And subsequently amends her plan for sending a letter to the Royal Geographic Society
    
    (Illustration: James in the doorway of the garage, arms crossed, frowning down at Malgorzata)
46. In which Malgorzata makes unauthorized improvements to the sewing machine
    And Murgatroyd questions James regarding his involvement
47. In which Malgorzata goes out on the roof to befriend a stork
    And it consents to carry her secret message to Cousin Yorick
48. In which Malgorzata comes into possession of a tuning fork
    And sets about probing the resonance of every desk, secretary, cupboard, and wardrobe in the house
49. In which an emissary of the BWTA is left waiting in the foyer for four hours
    And several petitfours go unaccounted for
50. In which Malgorzata befriends the postman
    And finds that a tray of petitfours is sufficient to procure his confederacy
51. In which Mother tries yet another governess
    With predictable results
52. In which the Brisemonts stay for whist
    and the girls take Asbaran out for an unsanctioned gallop
53. In which Malgorzata argues with a samovar over an esoteric point of Zoroastrian philosophy
    and Shahrazad declares a stalemate
54. In which Malgorzata teaches Miss Jasmina to dance on two legs
    and a tin of kippers goes missing from the larder
    
    (Illustration: Malgorzata in the parlor dangling a herring over a persian cat)
55. in which Malgorzata finishes Hermes Trismegistus 
    and checks several notions against photos of Teotihuacan in the latest National Geographic
56. in which Malgorzata borrows Henry's bicycle
    and the Brisemonts receive an alarming unpostmarked letter
57. in which Mother announces that the ladies shall be visiting for a talk on Spiritual Science
    and Malgorzata begins enlisting troops from the lily pond 
58. in which Lt. Charles Limburger falls into enemy hands
    and Jasmina faces a tribunal
59. in which Malgorzata is told for the last time to stay out of the kitchen
    and the Lord de Laudela is informed that tea may be slightly delayed
60. in which Malgorzata asks Murgatroyd to remove the newel finial
    just for a second, for no particular reason
61. in which Malgorzata begs James to instruct her on the use of the lathe 
    and further develops her lithography skills
62. In Which Malgorzata Reproduces Mr. Edison’s Dangerous Contraption
    and reaches a contrarian conclusion
    
    (Illustration: Malgorzata poring over a heap of mechanical bits spread out on the parlor carpet, Old Dog Trey curled up in front of the fire behind her)
63. in which Malgorzata listens to cylinders of Rossini and Dvořák sent by cousin Yorick
    and commits Henry on a quest to collect magpie feathers
64. in which Malgorzata interrogates the telephone installer regarding his extended competencies
    and Murgatroyd is obliged to intervene
65. in which the Lady de Laudela announces that the household shall be taking a holiday at Brighton
    and Malgorzata begins brushing up on her lateen patterns
66. in which Malgorzata transposes "Für Elise" to the cymbelline
    and Murgatroyd demands the return of his cylinders
67. in which Malgorzata plays a cymbelline sonata for the orchids in the conservatory
    and finds that they do not all respond equally
68. in which Malgorzata gives a blast on the horn
    and Sir Alaric requires several minutes to restore order amongst the hounds 
69. in which a meteorite destroys a chimney in the north wing
    and the Lord de Laudela questions Malgorzata regarding her involvement 
70. in which Malgorzata tires of pressing flowers
    and expands to butterflies and dragon flies